have you ever gotten involved in a situation with one goal in mind and lost sight of it in the thick? when you look at the big picture, it seems impossible to lose sight of God... but i am so forgetful that only constant renewal and reminder can continue drawing me back. my lack of sufficient trust and understanding of God's omnipotence consistently pulls me away from the urgency of the condition of my own faith and its strength, penetrance into the world around it. my love for instant gratification lulls me into a cycle of complacency and comfort when people look happy and devastates me when i feel unsure of the unobservable conditions of others. there are so many aspects to myself i want to change, that i am so unsatisfied with that i can't keep track of it all and fail fail FAIL so much... yet when i self-diagnose, i only scratch the surface of a deep problem.

and to think that God loves this body... along with the other six billion in this world?... so fearfully and wonderfully made, so carefully crafted that attention has been paid to even each hair on our heads? i looked up the structure... God is a BEAST. and to think that God has considered EVERY detail of our lives and intertwines it with the complicated details of those other six billion... such attention. such love. i'm so thankful God is so much greater than our petty problems.