http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/05/28/beck.immigrantworkers/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
being forced to read cnn is awesome :)
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
it is late.
sleepless... in st louis! perhaps this could become a tv show :P jk jk.
don't have the heart to finish that last post. perhaps the individual subjects will pop up later when i actually think about them more thoroughly... :)
it didn't feel like summer today... so rainy :P and thunder and lightning now T.T but, as someone taught, it doesn't necessarily that's ugly :) it's hard not to look at rainy days that way lots of the time, though... what a 1-D point of view i hold sometimes ^^.
scooter and i were comparing usefulness of aid for the china earthquake disaster and myanmar's nasty problem... it reminded me of what my dad told me about his experience after vietnam, about sending aid out even though you're not sure it'll reach those you sent it to. a pretty interesting application of history repeating itself, but a challenge to figuring out whether to keep trying in something when it seems nearly hopeless. i say keep trying... that's what my dad did.
don't have the heart to finish that last post. perhaps the individual subjects will pop up later when i actually think about them more thoroughly... :)
it didn't feel like summer today... so rainy :P and thunder and lightning now T.T but, as someone taught, it doesn't necessarily that's ugly :) it's hard not to look at rainy days that way lots of the time, though... what a 1-D point of view i hold sometimes ^^.
scooter and i were comparing usefulness of aid for the china earthquake disaster and myanmar's nasty problem... it reminded me of what my dad told me about his experience after vietnam, about sending aid out even though you're not sure it'll reach those you sent it to. a pretty interesting application of history repeating itself, but a challenge to figuring out whether to keep trying in something when it seems nearly hopeless. i say keep trying... that's what my dad did.
Monday, May 19, 2008
would it embarass you if i told you i love you?
today:
mcat class.
ucity library.
lunch at stl bubble tea and walking around forest park with cc.
then with linh and joyce at thai country cafe.
moving crap around my car to safely take joyce and dennis to the airport.
seeing joyce off.
taking dennis back to the lou.
meshuggah cafe with dennis.
bikers. screaming costume party.
people.
more bubble tea talking to dennis.
more talking.
back.
the highlights of my day seem so random but, surprisingly, God always pulls everything together in a way that you can never see at the moment and sometimes not until you look for it intentionally. how is it that one can be so hugely apparent and so small and quiet at the same time? it's a mystery :)
i love mcat class! so far haha ^^ but we'll see. having nothing to do for a week did something to me i think. someone hit me over the head
after studying what i could at the ucity library, i started writing in my moleskein while waiting for cc and pondering the reason for doing things. everything. things that came to mind: colossians, 1 corinthians, the switchfoot song.. meant to live, joyce's architecture graduation speaker (hansen?)'s quote from his dad on his deathbed: "there is no room in this world for mediocrity"... there really is no room for mediocrity. the world, in its situation, demands our very best for change. i know that's really general, but my thoughts were interrupted by a phone call signifying lunch... so it's ok.
joyce and cc will not be seen tomorrow... who knows when they'll return? i'm going to miss them. lunch and the walk with cc brought back memories of the old times when we'd talk until odd hours in the morning... but this time, the subject matter was completely different. i love hearing from people in relationships about their relationships with people because perspective completely changes.
dennis. mentorship/humility roles in relationships. weirdness of friendships and relationships. focus of relationships.
Jin: oh wow Dennis: Yeah.
mcat class.
ucity library.
lunch at stl bubble tea and walking around forest park with cc.
then with linh and joyce at thai country cafe.
moving crap around my car to safely take joyce and dennis to the airport.
seeing joyce off.
taking dennis back to the lou.
meshuggah cafe with dennis.
bikers. screaming costume party.
people.
more bubble tea talking to dennis.
more talking.
back.
the highlights of my day seem so random but, surprisingly, God always pulls everything together in a way that you can never see at the moment and sometimes not until you look for it intentionally. how is it that one can be so hugely apparent and so small and quiet at the same time? it's a mystery :)
i love mcat class! so far haha ^^ but we'll see. having nothing to do for a week did something to me i think. someone hit me over the head
after studying what i could at the ucity library, i started writing in my moleskein while waiting for cc and pondering the reason for doing things. everything. things that came to mind: colossians, 1 corinthians, the switchfoot song.. meant to live, joyce's architecture graduation speaker (hansen?)'s quote from his dad on his deathbed: "there is no room in this world for mediocrity"... there really is no room for mediocrity. the world, in its situation, demands our very best for change. i know that's really general, but my thoughts were interrupted by a phone call signifying lunch... so it's ok.
joyce and cc will not be seen tomorrow... who knows when they'll return? i'm going to miss them. lunch and the walk with cc brought back memories of the old times when we'd talk until odd hours in the morning... but this time, the subject matter was completely different. i love hearing from people in relationships about their relationships with people because perspective completely changes.
dennis. mentorship/humility roles in relationships. weirdness of friendships and relationships. focus of relationships.
Dennis:
We do not need to live our entire life angry
with our past or with our weakness.
We do not have to be resentful towards our parents,
our society or our church
because they have hurt us.
We are called to discover that no pain is ever useless.
It is more like manure spread on the ground.
It smells horrid and seems only to be waste,
but in fact it enriches and nourishes the earth,
allowing it to bring forth new life.
Nothing is lost.
Jesus welcomes everything that is broken.
If we give him our weakness
he will transform it into a source of life.
We do not need to live our entire life angry
with our past or with our weakness.
We do not have to be resentful towards our parents,
our society or our church
because they have hurt us.
We are called to discover that no pain is ever useless.
It is more like manure spread on the ground.
It smells horrid and seems only to be waste,
but in fact it enriches and nourishes the earth,
allowing it to bring forth new life.
Nothing is lost.
Jesus welcomes everything that is broken.
If we give him our weakness
he will transform it into a source of life.
where is that from?
it's the freeverse poem?
Jean Vanier.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
graduation
tomorrow is the big day for seniors! post-graduation moving away is going to be sad... but the dispersal of their amazing influence into the big world (small world?) is exciting. the things you will do! (dr. seuss? hehe ^^) so with that thought, it'll be easier to stop being so selfish and let them go... :)
Monday, May 12, 2008
dang.
God is removing my rose-colored glasses.
as i go into this summer praying about stuff, there are already so many lessons.
i guess it's wrong of me to want so much from the opposite gender when we're all sinners anyhoo. i shouldn't expect guys to be 100% upright, non-game-playing, perfect, boringly amazingly intelligent, witty, well-adjusted, etc etc when i can't even be one of those (kinds of girls, not guys~!!!) myself. i say that, but it's hard to live without having unnecessary predetermined standards... but even if i try not to betray the fact that i have such standards... who am i kidding?
as i go into this summer praying about stuff, there are already so many lessons.
i guess it's wrong of me to want so much from the opposite gender when we're all sinners anyhoo. i shouldn't expect guys to be 100% upright, non-game-playing, perfect, boringly amazingly intelligent, witty, well-adjusted, etc etc when i can't even be one of those (kinds of girls, not guys~!!!) myself. i say that, but it's hard to live without having unnecessary predetermined standards... but even if i try not to betray the fact that i have such standards... who am i kidding?
Saturday, May 3, 2008
throwback: one year (and other stuff)
it's late and my brother is snoring like MAD (and i think the people above us hear it and... are they stomping on their floor?? ^^;;...). but it's ok. the poor kiddo has a cold *patpat*. if any of you are scoffing at the lack of ability to sleep right now, YOU try sleeping through 10 decibel weird breathing/snoring... :'(
i started this post today (saturday morning!) before finding out that 15 unwritten pages of chinese literature commentary were due monday. don't worry-- i think that'll be under control... i think... besides, it's currently too late to mention and too early to function.
last doulos meeting of the semester AND jean song left! sad...
some random piece of the conversation (dan talking about learning how to conduct from watching curious george... haha) made my mind wander (what a rare occurrence :P) to thinking about how i missed orchestra and how our communities=orchestras=one body. does that make sense?? if so, this may be the best extended metaphor EVER hehe
one of the best feelings ever ever EVER is being part of a musical ensemble. maybe i personally like it better because of tendencies to be a mindless follower (i'm trying to change!), but i love playing my instrument in a group, listening to the countermelodies and harmonies; frantically reading my music because i don't practice (and it is a much better experience when i DO practice haha); watching the conductor and everyone else get into the music; feeling my heart swell as our music swells and diminishes together... mm :)
though each player may have a radically different part, music is a collective experience-- it is only complete, and much better when all parts are put together.
so that was saturday morning!... i don't really remember where i was going with that T.T sighsighsigh. i think the orchestra really does serve as a beautiful model of one functioning body with different, integral parts... perhaps the way Christ intended our church to be, forever worshipping Him :D horray!
update: charley's strange breathing/snoring noises have been interrupted by a cough-- wait-- back to loudness. sigh... it was good keeping me up to write the essays. perhaps this time to think will be good :) i've wanted to think about this year since senior sendoff anyhoo ^^
i'm going to miss the presence of certain seniors next year. despite smallness of stature of some (teehee), their presence is so huge... a reminder of God's faithfulness/ great gifts through the people in our lives. it's going to be hard letting go of a kindred spirits, sisters, brothers, AND role models... even harder when some embody all (only one of the genders please!!!) simultaneously. wahh TT.TT
i guess it'll be okay if they leave, though. perhaps all that crap about doors opening and closing isn't that scary :) because this year has definitely taught me to love people i never knew how to love before, more. despite all our differences-cultural, social, economical- that may separate us in secular life, it's reassuring to see that Jesus always binds with something much greater, reaching over crazy strong bonds. whether we are korean or chinese, geek/prep/ditz/emo/etc, homeless or student, old or young; the fact that Jesus first loved has proven a strong motivator to recognize and rip down self-made barriers and unite us more as a body of followers. i learned repentance that grows alongside love of the unlovely. i recognized false fruit (counterfeits!). i caught idols sneaking into my life. i forgot a lot that i (hopefully) will remember. perhaps most importantly of all, i made a baby step in the direction of greater trust and assurance in God and His promises, confidence that what comes is good for us, surrender to fulfillment of His Kingdom through worship that permeates my life, and delight in the greatness of it all.
God really has been faithful this year... not only in numbers in fellowships, or as expressed by outward emotion seen by people, but by quietly working and guiding in individual lives. the best thing is that this all happened even to me, despite the fact that i suck at discipline, harbor bitterness, spout angry words at others, and lack respect. not bad, God... not bad :P
the lil bro has quieted down some... perhaps it's time to sleep. oh jk. man... the kid sleepmumbles too?! perhaps it's couchtime for jin. i wonder what i do in my sleep now. if he starts sleepwalking, i'm going to MAKE him wake up... rar
i started this post today (saturday morning!) before finding out that 15 unwritten pages of chinese literature commentary were due monday. don't worry-- i think that'll be under control... i think... besides, it's currently too late to mention and too early to function.
last doulos meeting of the semester AND jean song left! sad...
some random piece of the conversation (dan talking about learning how to conduct from watching curious george... haha) made my mind wander (what a rare occurrence :P) to thinking about how i missed orchestra and how our communities=orchestras=one body. does that make sense?? if so, this may be the best extended metaphor EVER hehe
one of the best feelings ever ever EVER is being part of a musical ensemble. maybe i personally like it better because of tendencies to be a mindless follower (i'm trying to change!), but i love playing my instrument in a group, listening to the countermelodies and harmonies; frantically reading my music because i don't practice (and it is a much better experience when i DO practice haha); watching the conductor and everyone else get into the music; feeling my heart swell as our music swells and diminishes together... mm :)
though each player may have a radically different part, music is a collective experience-- it is only complete, and much better when all parts are put together.
so that was saturday morning!... i don't really remember where i was going with that T.T sighsighsigh. i think the orchestra really does serve as a beautiful model of one functioning body with different, integral parts... perhaps the way Christ intended our church to be, forever worshipping Him :D horray!
update: charley's strange breathing/snoring noises have been interrupted by a cough-- wait-- back to loudness. sigh... it was good keeping me up to write the essays. perhaps this time to think will be good :) i've wanted to think about this year since senior sendoff anyhoo ^^
i'm going to miss the presence of certain seniors next year. despite smallness of stature of some (teehee), their presence is so huge... a reminder of God's faithfulness/ great gifts through the people in our lives. it's going to be hard letting go of a kindred spirits, sisters, brothers, AND role models... even harder when some embody all (only one of the genders please!!!) simultaneously. wahh TT.TT
i guess it'll be okay if they leave, though. perhaps all that crap about doors opening and closing isn't that scary :) because this year has definitely taught me to love people i never knew how to love before, more. despite all our differences-cultural, social, economical- that may separate us in secular life, it's reassuring to see that Jesus always binds with something much greater, reaching over crazy strong bonds. whether we are korean or chinese, geek/prep/ditz/emo/etc, homeless or student, old or young; the fact that Jesus first loved has proven a strong motivator to recognize and rip down self-made barriers and unite us more as a body of followers. i learned repentance that grows alongside love of the unlovely. i recognized false fruit (counterfeits!). i caught idols sneaking into my life. i forgot a lot that i (hopefully) will remember. perhaps most importantly of all, i made a baby step in the direction of greater trust and assurance in God and His promises, confidence that what comes is good for us, surrender to fulfillment of His Kingdom through worship that permeates my life, and delight in the greatness of it all.
God really has been faithful this year... not only in numbers in fellowships, or as expressed by outward emotion seen by people, but by quietly working and guiding in individual lives. the best thing is that this all happened even to me, despite the fact that i suck at discipline, harbor bitterness, spout angry words at others, and lack respect. not bad, God... not bad :P
the lil bro has quieted down some... perhaps it's time to sleep. oh jk. man... the kid sleepmumbles too?! perhaps it's couchtime for jin. i wonder what i do in my sleep now. if he starts sleepwalking, i'm going to MAKE him wake up... rar
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